I have been thinking a lot lately about our peace in God and after a discussion last night in a class John and I are in I felt prompted to pass some encouragement to those of us who might be a little unsettled.
Right now our nation is in a financial turmoil, moral standards are being tested, and we have an election coming up that some people claim could change the course of America. Not that I don’t agree with the last statement as the person who will be in office next might have the power to elect judges that will view the constitution in the light of their morals and values. However, we can and should rest in the peace of God, knowing that in all of this, the world is but a spec in the entire creation of the heavens and earth and the “earth is the Lord’s footstool.” (Isaiah 66:1) We are devoting so much ot our time and energy worrying about the world around up, but GOD is not only our King, but He is our Father, who lavishly LOVES His Children. We have nothing to be afraid of. We are not orphans as my pastor reminded us recently. Here we are worrying about what our 401K might look like or whether we should move to Canada if the candidate we choose does not win the election. This happens every 4 years…we allow fear to come in and dominate our every decision based on an election of an earthly ruler. In the Old Testament, we see where the people were SO desperate to have an earthly king, that God finally gave them what they wanted (1 Samuel 8). It did not turn out to be a pleasant experience and we can see today that that is often the case. As Christians, however, our KING of kings is YAWEH, and we are instructed that “every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. (Romans 13:1) GOD is still our GRACIOUS King. The Bible says that God’s kingdom is everlasting. It is UNSHAKABLE. “Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe.” (Hebrews 13:28) If you are a Christian, YOU are part of His Kingdom and you can be the peace in the midst of the storm. In these days allow your peace and joy to be what draws others to Christ. The Bible says that the Lord will shake the heavens and the earth. (Hebrews 13:26) One day ALL that we find stable in this life, whether it be the economy or the very ground we walk upon, will one day be shaken and ALL that will stand is the Kingdom of God. If you are part of that kingdom, you are part of this unshakable kingdom, not tossed by the waves as one who doubts (James 1:6) or is hopeless, nor drawn back in fear, for we are VAULABLE to God. (Matthew 10:31) If we look outside of ourselves and remember why we are here…not to live in the world’s securities, but to have the peace of heaven living inside of us, then we will always be prepared for whatever we face because our hope is in the Lord. We can then begin to focus again on the reason we were placed on this earth…and my guess is, that it is not to live the American dream. Matthew 6:33 tells us that if we seek FIRST the Kingdom and His righteousness, all these things (food, clothing, shelter) will be added to us. Our purpose is to first love the Lord our God, seek after Him and his righteousness, and in doing so we become a light on a hill, set apart in our actions, attitudes, and mindsets. We are PRIVELEDGED to have been given the peace of Christ that surpasses understanding. (Phil. 4:7) You might not understand what is going on around you in these times, but rest assured, that GOD DOES; the Alpha and Omega, the everlasting KING over ALL of the earth and heavens!!!! Let that peace guard your heart from fear. Even if there is an earthly “king” in charge, GOD is STILL on HIS throne and NOBODY can vote Him out of office!!!! REST in that my friends!
“He whose mind is stayed on HIM, shall remain in perfect peace, because he trusts in Him.”(Isaiah 26:3)
Grace to You!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Week 6- Finances
Well, this is it…our last week together…for now. I am so glad that you all signed up and that we have all stuck with it. I am so encouraged to see the changes that are happening in marriages and the level of responsibility within our relationships has gone up a notch. I hope that everyone will continue to allow the Lord to grow you up and be the best wife/husband and/or mother/father that He desires us to be.
Last week we discussed finances. We talked about ideas that could help us to manage our money more efficiently like the envelope idea, of putting your grocery, gas, entertainment money in envelopes and once it is gone…it is gone…You can borrow from another envelope such as entertainment for your gas, but for that week…no movie. We also learned about budgeting and Ashley shared with us about a spreadsheet she uses to calculate everything for the month, which maybe she will forward it on to us. Jimmy Evans has said that if you budget and come to agreement about how much to spend on what categories, then it can help resolve further discussions about un-discussed purchases. We also learned from John and Suzanne that we should pay our bills first. We should pay the bills and then whatever money is leftover is for grocery, gas, etc. Also, we should write out our tithes immediately before anything else is deducted so we never fail to give to God what is already His, which brings me to the next principle we learned.
Our money is not ours…it’s God’s. He gave it to us, and He can take it away. We need to strive to be good stewards over our money and honor Him with our purchases and our attitudes toward our money. I have heard before and Max reiterated the point that God wants to give so we will give. He wants the money to just flow through us to do His work. Sure we can pay our bills and provide for our family, but when we find someone in need (which isn’t very hard), or the Lord places it on our hearts to give above our tithes and offerings, we need to be willing to obey Him. He who gives generously will reap generously. (2 Corinthians 9:6) and Proverbs 22:9 says “he who is generous will be blessed.”
Max also brought up the power of compound interest. (I am by no means and expert in this area.) If we invest our money in successful vehicles of return, we will reap a reward later. Just as your credit card purchase of $1000 would take 16 years to pay off if you were just paying a minimum of 2% because of the compounding interest. So, your $1000 would at least double. (Don’t know what the exact figure is.) Your money gain will function the same way. Even though the market is very uneasy right now, as long as the Lord tarries and the market recovers, this will allow our money to grow again. Patience is the key with investing.
Last week we discussed finances. We talked about ideas that could help us to manage our money more efficiently like the envelope idea, of putting your grocery, gas, entertainment money in envelopes and once it is gone…it is gone…You can borrow from another envelope such as entertainment for your gas, but for that week…no movie. We also learned about budgeting and Ashley shared with us about a spreadsheet she uses to calculate everything for the month, which maybe she will forward it on to us. Jimmy Evans has said that if you budget and come to agreement about how much to spend on what categories, then it can help resolve further discussions about un-discussed purchases. We also learned from John and Suzanne that we should pay our bills first. We should pay the bills and then whatever money is leftover is for grocery, gas, etc. Also, we should write out our tithes immediately before anything else is deducted so we never fail to give to God what is already His, which brings me to the next principle we learned.
Our money is not ours…it’s God’s. He gave it to us, and He can take it away. We need to strive to be good stewards over our money and honor Him with our purchases and our attitudes toward our money. I have heard before and Max reiterated the point that God wants to give so we will give. He wants the money to just flow through us to do His work. Sure we can pay our bills and provide for our family, but when we find someone in need (which isn’t very hard), or the Lord places it on our hearts to give above our tithes and offerings, we need to be willing to obey Him. He who gives generously will reap generously. (2 Corinthians 9:6) and Proverbs 22:9 says “he who is generous will be blessed.”
Max also brought up the power of compound interest. (I am by no means and expert in this area.) If we invest our money in successful vehicles of return, we will reap a reward later. Just as your credit card purchase of $1000 would take 16 years to pay off if you were just paying a minimum of 2% because of the compounding interest. So, your $1000 would at least double. (Don’t know what the exact figure is.) Your money gain will function the same way. Even though the market is very uneasy right now, as long as the Lord tarries and the market recovers, this will allow our money to grow again. Patience is the key with investing.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Week 5- Four Basic Needs of Men/Women
Last week we covered the different needs of women and men. We split up into two groups last week and the women covered the 4 basic needs of a man:
Honor
Sex
Kindred Fellowship/ Companionship
Domestic Support
I won’t share the juicy details of what the women talked about, but rest assured men, that every lady in the class expressed her desire and commitment to meet her husband’s needs.
As for what the guys discussed, they talked about the weather, cars, and ….oh wait…that must have been a front. J They discussed the 4 basic needs of a woman:
Security
Non-Sexual Affection
Open Communication
Leadership
As a woman, I can agree that if a woman feels that she is her husband’s one and only, she is hugged and held often without leading to the bedroom (not that she won’t willingly take you there at times), lovingly talked to and genuinely listened to, and is led to the feet of Jesus by her husband, then she will be a happy wife!!! And as a Christian comic once said, “Happy wife, happy life!” LOL!!!! However, as both spouses learn to meet their spouse’s needs, we will BOTH begin to reap the benefits.
As for the husband’s point of view, I can offer only my advice to wives from my experience with my husband. When we speak honor to our husbands, they will eat it up and keep coming back for more. If we offer to meet their sexual needs with excitement (because, ladies, it is a need not a want for men), if enjoy spending time watching football just to be with our husbands (or whatever hobby he has) and are regularly having fun, and if we are creating a home in which he wants to come home to, then we are actively taking steps to win the hearts of our husbands day by day. It will only become more exciting and enticing to be married to the most wonderful man in the world (that is of course my husband…but I hope that is what you feel about yours too!)
Ok, so this Sunday, we will be discussing the topic of Finances, and if you have been married for any time at all, you know that this can create friction in your marriage. This weekend will teach us Biblical principles on which to base all of our financial decisions upon.
Honor
Sex
Kindred Fellowship/ Companionship
Domestic Support
I won’t share the juicy details of what the women talked about, but rest assured men, that every lady in the class expressed her desire and commitment to meet her husband’s needs.
As for what the guys discussed, they talked about the weather, cars, and ….oh wait…that must have been a front. J They discussed the 4 basic needs of a woman:
Security
Non-Sexual Affection
Open Communication
Leadership
As a woman, I can agree that if a woman feels that she is her husband’s one and only, she is hugged and held often without leading to the bedroom (not that she won’t willingly take you there at times), lovingly talked to and genuinely listened to, and is led to the feet of Jesus by her husband, then she will be a happy wife!!! And as a Christian comic once said, “Happy wife, happy life!” LOL!!!! However, as both spouses learn to meet their spouse’s needs, we will BOTH begin to reap the benefits.
As for the husband’s point of view, I can offer only my advice to wives from my experience with my husband. When we speak honor to our husbands, they will eat it up and keep coming back for more. If we offer to meet their sexual needs with excitement (because, ladies, it is a need not a want for men), if enjoy spending time watching football just to be with our husbands (or whatever hobby he has) and are regularly having fun, and if we are creating a home in which he wants to come home to, then we are actively taking steps to win the hearts of our husbands day by day. It will only become more exciting and enticing to be married to the most wonderful man in the world (that is of course my husband…but I hope that is what you feel about yours too!)
Ok, so this Sunday, we will be discussing the topic of Finances, and if you have been married for any time at all, you know that this can create friction in your marriage. This weekend will teach us Biblical principles on which to base all of our financial decisions upon.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Week 3 & 4: Communication Continued...
Ok...So I haven't updated last week what went on in our last class, so I will combine what we talked about in class last weekend and the weekend prior.
So we have continued our discussion on communication. The week before last we covered some negative communication habits including attacking and defending, manipulating, and stuffing. We talked about how when we attack and defend we avoid the truth. When our spouse approaches us with a concern, if we are guilty of attacking, we might respond to their comment about, "When are you going to mow the lawn?" with "Geese, you never give me time to relax!" Instead of answering the often innocent question that they are asking, we might respond in a way that assumes that they are attacking us; our character, behavior, or attitude. A more responsive, not reactive, answer to the question might be, "Oh honey, I have had a really rough week and really to relax. Why don't we see if we could pay the neighbor's kid and we can go out tomorrow night?" Often, as I have heard in Emmerson Eggerich's book, Love and Respect, he talks about how couples get in the "crazy cycle" in which we respond to our spouse's negative behavior with our own negative behavior and it just becomes a viscious cycle. SOMEONE has to break it. Manipulation is another negative communication patter in which we say things to get our way, whether hurtful or positive. John and I were watching a tv show in which the couple was on the brink of divorce and the had a weekend to figure out if they wanted to remain married. The husband was a compulsive liar and the wife had begun to realize that. He made attempt after attempt to "say" something that would make her change her mind about the separation. Sadly, they did not make it (in the show at least), but he finally did realize that he could not use his words to manipulate his wife. We need to realize that we are each our own person and that getting married did not give us the authority or ability to change our spouse. Only God can do that for each of us when we are yeilded to Him. By using manipulating words, such as "you should", or "you must", or giving your spouse ultimatums or "if you love me" type of statements, we only push our spouses away or cause them to lose their personality and take on a behavior that will please you, out of bitterness or fear, not love. Stuffing was another negative habit in which one holds their feelings inside. Instead of rocking the boat, the throw the cargo in the hold. This feels like things are being forgiven or forgotten, but in reality, they are just being stored away only to come out when the storage space has run out. Even though we feel that we are loving our spouse by not "complaining", we are actually withholding truth from our spouse. Perhaps we feel that when our spouse does not call us from work, they are not thinking about us during the day, and begin to feel hurt. If we do not address this feeling with our spouse, we could conitue to harbor hurt and negative feelings toward our spouse for this and without realizing it, we may distance ourself from them. It could be that our spouse doesn't call us because they do not want to get us in trouble at work and are looking out for us. If we were to tell our spouse, it could be such and easy fix as them knowing that they can call us during the work day, and in knowing this, could avoid a lot of assumptions and hurt.
Last week we touched on men's need for honor and women's need for love. When a wife begins to show her husband honor in the way she treats him and the way she talks to him, his deepest need is met, and he will inadvertantly respond to his wife in a loving manner...eventually. This works the same the other way around. If we love and honor our spouse and make them feel comfortable in bringing their complaints to us, then they will be able to recieve them in return. When we are able to approach our spouse's "customer service" counter as Jimmy described it, we let our spouse know that we are not perfect and will make adjustments for our spouse, because we know that they love "our department store." Like our own favorite store...if we are able to return or exchange if it doesn't fit, it breaks, or is just the wrong color, we WILL shop at that store more often!
Some other key things we learned are:
1. We can create the world in which we live in with our words...use the wisely and nicely
2. Resolve conflict in a positive manner- our Truth Talk
3. Identify and be willing to repent of our negative communication habits.
4. Sacrifice to spend time in conversation with our spouse...daily
5. Deal with our problems on a daily basis...do not let the sun go down on our anger.
6. Commit that divorce is NOT an option. REMOVE this word from your vocabulary.
So we have continued our discussion on communication. The week before last we covered some negative communication habits including attacking and defending, manipulating, and stuffing. We talked about how when we attack and defend we avoid the truth. When our spouse approaches us with a concern, if we are guilty of attacking, we might respond to their comment about, "When are you going to mow the lawn?" with "Geese, you never give me time to relax!" Instead of answering the often innocent question that they are asking, we might respond in a way that assumes that they are attacking us; our character, behavior, or attitude. A more responsive, not reactive, answer to the question might be, "Oh honey, I have had a really rough week and really to relax. Why don't we see if we could pay the neighbor's kid and we can go out tomorrow night?" Often, as I have heard in Emmerson Eggerich's book, Love and Respect, he talks about how couples get in the "crazy cycle" in which we respond to our spouse's negative behavior with our own negative behavior and it just becomes a viscious cycle. SOMEONE has to break it. Manipulation is another negative communication patter in which we say things to get our way, whether hurtful or positive. John and I were watching a tv show in which the couple was on the brink of divorce and the had a weekend to figure out if they wanted to remain married. The husband was a compulsive liar and the wife had begun to realize that. He made attempt after attempt to "say" something that would make her change her mind about the separation. Sadly, they did not make it (in the show at least), but he finally did realize that he could not use his words to manipulate his wife. We need to realize that we are each our own person and that getting married did not give us the authority or ability to change our spouse. Only God can do that for each of us when we are yeilded to Him. By using manipulating words, such as "you should", or "you must", or giving your spouse ultimatums or "if you love me" type of statements, we only push our spouses away or cause them to lose their personality and take on a behavior that will please you, out of bitterness or fear, not love. Stuffing was another negative habit in which one holds their feelings inside. Instead of rocking the boat, the throw the cargo in the hold. This feels like things are being forgiven or forgotten, but in reality, they are just being stored away only to come out when the storage space has run out. Even though we feel that we are loving our spouse by not "complaining", we are actually withholding truth from our spouse. Perhaps we feel that when our spouse does not call us from work, they are not thinking about us during the day, and begin to feel hurt. If we do not address this feeling with our spouse, we could conitue to harbor hurt and negative feelings toward our spouse for this and without realizing it, we may distance ourself from them. It could be that our spouse doesn't call us because they do not want to get us in trouble at work and are looking out for us. If we were to tell our spouse, it could be such and easy fix as them knowing that they can call us during the work day, and in knowing this, could avoid a lot of assumptions and hurt.
Last week we touched on men's need for honor and women's need for love. When a wife begins to show her husband honor in the way she treats him and the way she talks to him, his deepest need is met, and he will inadvertantly respond to his wife in a loving manner...eventually. This works the same the other way around. If we love and honor our spouse and make them feel comfortable in bringing their complaints to us, then they will be able to recieve them in return. When we are able to approach our spouse's "customer service" counter as Jimmy described it, we let our spouse know that we are not perfect and will make adjustments for our spouse, because we know that they love "our department store." Like our own favorite store...if we are able to return or exchange if it doesn't fit, it breaks, or is just the wrong color, we WILL shop at that store more often!
Some other key things we learned are:
1. We can create the world in which we live in with our words...use the wisely and nicely
2. Resolve conflict in a positive manner- our Truth Talk
3. Identify and be willing to repent of our negative communication habits.
4. Sacrifice to spend time in conversation with our spouse...daily
5. Deal with our problems on a daily basis...do not let the sun go down on our anger.
6. Commit that divorce is NOT an option. REMOVE this word from your vocabulary.
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